More Stuff! (Part 2) -- Covering the LA Baby Show 2017

I had the pleasure of attending the LA Baby Show downtown at the Reef this weekend. Having attended last year as well, I can honestly say that this year did not disappoint. Not only did the organizers bring in more vendors, but they also had more speakers, demonstrations and an even better organized event, spread out over two floors, instead of one.

I got there early, and found out I wasn't the only early bird excited for the event to start. The line  started even before check in with anxious parents and parents-to-be.

I headed straight to the blogger lounge to take advantage of the awesome services offered there before snapping any selfies. I got my make-up done by @chicstudios, who also offer classes on how to do your own make-up. After a lovely conversation I shuffled to the next chair over so I could get my hair done by @petitemason. I learned that their West Hollywood salon keeps hours that give us moms no excuse to give ourselves a little pampering (open late and on weekends too!) Now that I was camera ready, I could take the beautiful @SilverCrossUSA luxury stroller for a spin.

Once on the showroom floor, I ran into brand reps, that I've grown to call friends, saw new products from companies I already know and love, and learned about new products that one could even consider a "must-have" despite saving everything from baby #1.

I already have a jogging stroller and an umbrella stroller, and never quite found the need to for a portable playpen. But after chatting with the friendly folks @SummerInfant, I realized that an outdoor secure play space may be very necessary with an active five year old that is not planning on slowing down any time soon. Theirs even has a SPF cover, which is great if you want to avoid re-applying sunscreen throughout the day. I also checked out their 3DTote Convenience stroller.  You have to check out the amount of storage on this light stroller. Although it's not officially an umbrella stroller, it does fold pretty small and store like one.  Not only does it avoid the dreaded constantly dirty canopy that drives me crazy with my current umbrella stroller every time I fold it, but it also has special hooks on the handle that can hold a EXTRA heavy diaper bag that doesn't make the stroller flip over every time your kid gets out of the seat. How smart is that? 

The extremely knowledgeable staff @diaperDekor introduced me to their new line of reuseable cloth pail liners for their already famous diaper pail. I used this pail with number one for disposable diapers, but once I switched to cloth, I had to have a separate hanging bag because they didn't fit right into the pail. Well now the problem is solved! It comes in a pack of two, which is perfect because while one is being washed with your soiled diapers, the other is in place for interim changes. Way to make it easy on us #clothdiaperparents. Their parent company, Regal Lager also has a line of @LovetoDreamUSA swaddles that come in three stages, the first of which allows babies to keep their arms up, similar to how they sleep in the womb. Genius, right? When my little guy first wriggled out of his swaddle, that was the exact position he was trying to get into. Their stage two has wings that zip off, allowing one or both arms to be free. Despite having a supply of swaddles already, I will definitely be adding an Organic Stage 1 Love to Dream swaddle to my collection.

Another really unique product I discovered is an adorable doll all the way from Iceland. It's called @Lulla_Doll and not only is it soft and snuggly without any sewn-on hazardous parts, it has a sound feature that mimics mom's heartbeat and breathing sounds to help baby fall back asleep. It runs for a full eight hours too! Fingers crossed I win their raffle for this adorable little guy, otherwise I will just have to get one shipped over across the Atlantic. Really ingenious idea!

There were so many other great items I found, but these were some of my favorites I just had to share right away. If you're a parent who has saved everything from your little one and think you have everything you need, you may just find you will want more stuff this time around, especially five years later!

In Honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month....

 A year after my loss, I decided it was finally time to share, not only help myself heal further, but help others who may have experienced or may be experiencing the same thing.  Warning, detailed triggers regarding loss to follow.

I started a blog a little over a year ago called "Fit Pregnancy Pursuit." Last spring started HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) and a few months into my new active lifestyle, I found out I was pregnant. I decided that this time around I would not gain almost a third of my weight, I would work out hard and continue to stay strong throughout the nine months and document what I was going through to inspire others to stay healthy during their pregnancies.  I purposely kept the blog "private," planning to share it upon reaching the second trimester. After experiencing an early loss before I had my son, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay before blurting the news out into the webiverse. But since I preach the importance of documenting everything, I didn't want to be a shoemaker without any shoes and started my blog about my experience early on.

I distinctly remember one of my last posts.  I had been having a particularly rough day at the gym, feeling frustrated from nausea and annoyed that I wasn't able to "push it" like I had prior to that second little line showing up.  Later that same day, I got to see and hear my little one's heartbeat on an ultrasound.  Because my first miscarriage was a blighted ovum, I thought that seeing a strong heartbeat, even at only six weeks, was a sign that all was good, I felt a huge sense of relief and excitement about the next seven and a half months and beyond.  I still hadn't broken the news publically, but started planning for a big reveal at Thanksgiving, when the whole family would be together. I was just about ready to make my blog public.

Fast forward two weeks, I pulled out my handy home doppler that helped me keep my sanity during my first pregnancy, and I wasn't able to find a heartbeat.  Although I knew it was early, I still was disappointed I couldn't find it. A week later I decided to go into the OB because my symptoms had started to wain and that got me worried.

The doctor and I chatted, I mentioned that I had seen a good, strong heartbeat at six weeks and we talked about usual early pregnancy things. I requested an ultrasound, even though she said there probably wasn't anything to worry about.  To this day, I'll never forget the look on her face as she scanned my abdomen, first routinely, then desperately looking for something. I felt the tears start to form. I knew before she even uttered a word. My son, who had no idea I was even pregnant, inherently picked up on the mood in the room and came over to me with great concern. My heart dropped. My tiny baby had passed.

Prior to that appointment, I was unfamiliar with the term "missed miscarriage." I thought that miscarriages only meant cramping and spotting.  I never knew that the embryo could pass and I would have no idea. A google search of the term made me realize just how common they are.

The doctor took me back into the examination room and gave me the low down on my choices: misoprostol or a D&C. I was devastated, and without my husband by my side to help me take a step back and analyze, I was lost.  I knew that I didn't want to have any surgery right away, and luckily the on-site pharmacy didn't have any misoprostol in stock.  Making a decision at that exact moment was not necessary.  The doctor told me that waiting too long could cause an infection, and even though my baby had passed two weeks prior, I still had some time to do my own research.

Ultimately I chose to give my body the time to figure out what had occurred on its own, hoping that route would help me to more naturally conceive sooner.  I had to make an appointment for two weeks later and really hoped that my body would figure itself out by then.  The next two weeks were excruciating emotionally.  Having to tell the even the small group of people I had shared the news with was like opening up the wound over and over again.  Knowing that I was still carrying that little tiny body inside and my body not doing anything about it made me frustrated and angry.

I returned to the gym with a vengeance, hoping that all I had done to avoid a miscarriage in the previous weeks would help bring on the miscarriage.  I tried acupuncture, herbs, essential oils and supplements to help my body move things along. Every time my son would see me cry he'd respond with "oh no, not again." I'm sure it was difficult for him to see his mommy so upset, and despite my trying to explain to him how that comment made me feel, it was just too much a four year old to empathize with.

The "not knowing when" was almost as hard to deal with as the loss itself. I hoped I wouldn't be alone with my son when it happened or that I wouldn't be out in public. Then thankfully, as if my body knew it was safe to do so, on a Sunday morning, I started to feel uncomfortable cramping. Thankfully my husband was home and able to keep my son occupied, although unfortunately that meant that I would have to deal with the pain, both physical and emotional, all on my own. It was so much like labor, but without the beautiful, amazing gift at the end. I knew I could do it physically, as I had given birth to my son without any medication, but without the natural high of knowing the light at the end of the tunnel was a beautiful child, it was emotionally excruciating.

Once I knew that it was finally over, I felt a sense of relief, but also a sense of further loss, as I was suddenly all alone once again. The physical pain ended long before the emotional pain dissipated. Ultimately though, that too began to fade. All loss is difficult, all loss takes its toll. With every comment of "is he your only one?" and "when are you going to have another?" I felt the need to let that person know that I had experienced a loss, even if it meant opening up that wound all over again. With time I was able to reply with "I guess I'm just meant to have two rainbow babies." Finding the hope in all the negative was the start of moving on.  Finding a way to celebrate others' pregnancy announcement and be truly happy for them got easier as well.  I still find my thoughts sometimes turning to "what might have been," but choose to consciously stop them and be happy now for what will be as I move forward.

For all the "Stay-At-Home" Mompreneurs (or Dadpreneurs)

As I get ready to send my little guy off to preschool in the morning, I am beginning to reflect on what these last three years have been like as a stay-at-home mom who used to have a part-time job, then started a business, then started helping out with our new franchise, and then signed on as a consultant for a direct sales business.  It really has been difficult to juggle everything and not drop a few balls here and there.  Who am I kidding, I've dropped more than a few.  But we've made it out alive and I have to say that getting six hours of "free" time a week is going to feel like an amazing stay-cation...I may actually get some work done on one of my three businesses too!  I figured that through all of this, I can definitely provide some helpful advice to other parents out there just beginning the journey of stay-at-home entrepreneurship.

First of all, I want to mention that starting a business, whether it's signing on to an already existing direct sales company or becoming a franchisee, or mostly starting something from scratch that requires a great deal of consumer education for acquisition, it's going to take more time than you expect to see the dollar signs come in, no matter how great the business model is. The most important thing is to start as small as you can financially, especially if there are no other funds to fall back on. Babies and kids are always going to need more things than you think they do, and things like cloth diapers can easily become an obsession and get out of control.  But I digress..invest as little as possible to get the ball rolling out of the gate to test the market, your sales abilities, as well as find out if this is going to be something that you really want to do.

On that note, whatever business you are getting in to to either create an income for your family or supplement another income, you have to really love it.  You cannot just be in it to chase dollar signs.  This is going to be a business that you are going to take time away from your child to do. You will lose massive amounts sleep in order to get things done.  Nap times and bed time will sometimes be all you can look forward to in order to get to that project that's sitting on your desk (that also happens to be covered with stickers and temporary tattoos).  If getting to projects or responding to emails for your business starts to become something you dread, it's not the business for you.  Of course that sounds like a no-brainer. But there is a big difference between going to a job you greatly dislike day in and day out just to get a paycheck and finding as many mini moments as possible throughout the day in between cooking, cleaning, laundry and hopefully playtime to get five minutes of work done.  If you're not happy with what you're working on, you will put it off and it will not get done.  It's a lot easier to get distracted at home by an adorable little munchkin than it is in a cubicle when you're already there.

Along the same lines, know your limits and be realistic.  There really are only twenty-four hours in a day and you do need to sleep.  Don't set yourself up for failure by assuming you can complete forty hours of work while being a full-time parent at home.  You probably won't even be able to get twenty hours of work in.  And you cannot beat yourself up over the fact.  Find ways to work your business into your time with your child.  Try to get into a business that markets to parents in your similar life stage so that you can reach out at playdates and playgrounds, do work while you're not really working. If you're in direct sales, find some other moms who are as well and schedule a time for everyone to get together, each one brings a friend who isn't in direct sales, and allow each business owner some time to share while the kids get to play. Also understand that not every week is going to be the same, commitments to home and family will change and the first thing you may have to sacrifice is your "work" time.

Most importantly, remember why you are going out on your own to create income for yourself and your family as opposed to working a full-time job and paying someone else to raise your child.  Being a stay-at-home mom really is one of the hardest and sometimes feels like the most thankless job there is. There are no benefits, sick days, weekends or vacation time. And when you throw being a mompreneur into the mix, there is even less time for you. But understand that your child getting to see you day in and day out is priceless.  No one will ever love your child the way you will and no one can raise them to be who you want them to be, but you.  Once the money starts to come in and you have a bit of a cushion, don't be afraid to hire a sitter here and there to give you time for you, or hire a cleaning service to at least take that off of your plate.  Just don't lose site of the goal of spending as much time with your kids as you can while they're little. It really does go by way too fast.

For those interested to know a bit more of the specifics, I started Video Baby Books after my son was born when I realized that as a professional filmmaker I was sadly only capturing my son's milestones on my cell phone and I wasn't "in" any of the videos.  Knowing that I couldn't be the only one with this issue, I sought to create a business to help parents like myself that really wanted professional level documentaries of their families.  My husband and I opened a Menchie's Frozen Yogurt in Valencia, CA this past April and not having our family time has been difficult. I recently signed on to sell Neal's Yard Remedies (NYR Organics) a certified organic health and beauty line out of the UK. I seek to live as clean and pure as possible when it comes to what we use on our bodies and this company has so many amazing products that selling them turned out to be an obvious choice.  Feel free to check out my online store at: https://us.nyrorganic.com/shop/francinekozlovsky

Somewhat Unrelated, But Important Nonetheless for Mommies and Mommies-to-be

I spend so much time blogging and educating about the importance of documenting our little ones, what is important to document and why, and how to make the best digital photo and video scrapbooks so that our kids can know just how much we love them.  These things are very important and letting our kids know in more ways than one just how much they are loved will set a strong foundation of confidence throughout their lives.

But something I realized this past weekend while being pampered at the Mommy Blogger Pre-Reception for the Pregnancy Awareness Month kick-off event is that we really need to make sure to take time out for ourselves, and not just during nap time and after we put our little one's to bed.  I had planned to attend the event with my son, as he is almost always with me.  But his runny nose and cough made me think twice about being "that mom."  It turned out to be for the best, as I was able to take a step back for an afternoon and focus on me. 

As moms we give so much to our little ones: from the moment I found out I was pregnant I became  hyper conscious about everything I was putting into my body and well as on it, the environment I was inhabiting, and even the air I was breathing in order to give my son the best start in life. I extensively researched everything that I brought into our home for him.  My baby registry was chock full of organic and natural items.  I took numerous precautions to avoid being GBS positive so that my son wouldn't be exposed to antibiotics during birth, I took all sorts of herbs and homeopathic pellets near the end of my pregnancy to help with having an all-natural childbirth, because I believed it was best for him.  I endured a month of extremely painful nursing, consulted lactation consultants and researched everything I could get my hands on to become successful at breastfeeding because I believed it was best and am happy to be able to continue to do so through his second year of life.

But what I l realized this weekend while having a complimentary eyebrow waxing, a really informative make-up consultation (both courtesy of the all-natural evolue beauty store of Beverly Hills), and a wonderfully relaxing chair massage (courtesy of Berlin Wellness and Chiropractic), is that if I don't take the time to focus on me, at least a little here and there, I can't be the best mommy that I can be to my son, nor the best wife to my husband. I want to set a positive example for my child, teach him about treating himself with the respect and love he deserves so that others in turn will do so as well. As a stay-at-home mom/mompreneur I tend to forget about the importance of "me time" and consequently cannot be my best self as a mom and a wife. It's definitely true that our lives become more full as we become life partners and mothers, but we forget that we were a whole person before any of this happened and need to make sure to continue to take care of that whole person for everyone else's sake too. 

Give everything you have to your kids, they deserve it, but they also deserve a happy and healthy mommy who takes the time to put herself first..at least once in a blue moon.