As I struggle to get my toddler to sleep over an hour past his bedtime (partly my fault), I think back to how just one week ago he finally slept through the night for the very first time...only to torment me the following night by waking up twice, the second time not going back to sleep for over two hours. It got me to thinking about how certain milestones are really misleading. What I mean is that for some milestones, once they're reached, there is no going back. For others, however, wavering is more likely than not, and that's what makes them so frustrating. I know I cannot be the only parent that is up late searching Google just to make sure that I'm not doing something wrong as a parent.
Obviously, once baby can hold his head up, it's not like he'll go back to being all "floppy." That milestone is pretty easy to identify and definitely deserves some celebration. Once your little on rolls over, typically they want to do it over and over again. It may take a day or two before they really get the hang of it, but it's not something they flat out refuse to do after doing it once. The same goes for crawling, once your baby realizes they can get their toy on their own, they're gonna do it instead of waiting for you. Some kids start crawling later than others, but again, once they start they typically do not stop.
However, I've heard many parents mention that they're child will take a few steps, then choose to go back to crawling because they're just better at it (and less prone to bruises). Walking isn't a line that is crossed, never to be retreated from again. My son didn't actually crawl all that long and I honestly think he wanted to skip it all together. He did eventually start crawling around eight months, but just two and a half months later he was walking and never looked back. So for us, this was a milestone that had some finality to it.
Eating solids really shouldn't be considered a milestone, especially for those kids who are born prematurely, due to gut maturity and actual gestational age. I read that "food before one was just for fun," and tried to let that be my mantra as my kid spit out countless homemade purees after hitting the six month mark. It finally changed when I allowed him to play with the puffs that melt in the mouth. He eventually chose to put them in his mouth and still loves them to this day. Of course not getting any teeth until fifteen months made eating certain foods more difficult. And it did cause quite a bit of frustration when he didn't want to eat purees anymore but couldn't really chew either. Thankfully this isn't an issue anymore.
Sleeping through a night, the milestone I hate the most right now. It's really unfortunate that some parents use this milestone as a barometer for how good of a parent they are. I've read countless articles on sleep training and night nursing and night weaning and co-sleeping and everything in between. My little guy just likes waking up for a snack, sometimes it's a few hours after going to sleep, sometimes it's just a few hours before his final wake up. I guess I can't blame him. It's probably pretty comforting and if I knew of a fail safe way to fall back asleep after waking up for no reason at all, I probably wouldn't hesitate to ask for it, again and again and again...
The next milestone to "achieve" will be potty training, or rather toilet educating. Just like the sleeping through the night regression, my son really liked his little potty the first day we brought it home. He actually went on it, twice. Fast forward to two weeks later and he'll flat out deny when he is going to avoid me asking if he wants to sit on the potty. As I recently learned, this milestone will be a lot easier if I just let him take the lead. After all, it's not like I had to "teach" him to hold his head up, that one he figured out all by himself. The same probably goes for most milestones honestly: the more we try to force our kids to reach a supposed mile marker to make ourselves feel better that we're good parents, the more we'll feel badly for them missing the mark and will make our kids feel badly as well. It is important to make sure that are kids are moving forward and developing, but reaching certain goals by a strict deadline can't be what it's all about. Sleep is over rated anyway, right?
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