To Technologoy or Not To Technology, That is the Question...

I'm sure many parents struggle with this in the technological age we are living in, and even more so if you're a work at home parent of a stay at home only child that no longer naps. This is my current dilemma and the fact that I am somewhat addicted to technology and the work I do involves technology probably doesn't help either.

It was so much easier for our parents when we were kids. Perhaps it was because I grew up on a street with other kids my own age, we played at each other's houses and only came home just in time for dinner. Of course I grew up in the suburbs in the Midwest on a dead end street with a park right across from my home. I can't say that where we live is really that much less "suburban," but it definitely doesn't have that same feel and with that comes less freedom for my child to explore and discover on his own. Some of that may be attributed to his age, but neighborhoods don't feel as "neighborly" as they once did.

So if I can't send him out on his own and if I can't be connected to the internet at the local park, what's a work at home parent to do? While I'm writing this he's actually interrupting me repeatedly for help with an art project that I thought would keep him occupied long enough to get this post done...wrong! Trips to the Dollar Store for art supplies are a regular occurrence just to get him away from technology and keep him occupied (somewhat anyway). I recently read an article that kids should not be allowed any technology before they turn one (oops!) and after that they should only be allowed up to an hour a day (another oops!). Ultimately we are all doing the best that we can, but there is an alternative to mind numbing toy review and surprise egg videos if we parents need some uninterrupted work time......

I am very happy to say that since attending a PBS SoCalKids event that focused on programming curriculum and their Ready to Learn Initiative, I know that if I do choose to turn on the television, then PBS Kids shows are the way to go.  So much time, energy, and thought goes into make their shows that my son's brain is continuing to expand and he is actually learning life lessons and various subject curriculum while watching.  I had the pleasure of learning about "Ready Jet Go!" and the fact that there is an actual JPL Astrophysicist on staff that not only contributes to the show's curriculum, but she is making sure that the science represented is scientifically based.  I learned that the whole production process for an eleven minute episode takes nine months from outline to finished product! In order to create an entire season, they are working on multiple episodes at one time throughout the year.

While I was learning all of these cool things, my son was in the back of the room with other kids on tablets to keep quiet and occupied. But when I found that that he was actually exploring various PBS apps that taught him new things that he was so excited to share with me after the event ended, I was looking forward to downloading the same apps for his tablet when we got home. The most interesting moment, however, was when we were watching a clip from "Ready Jet Go" and all of the kids stopped what they were doing to watch the scene and listen to how it was made, showing that they were not completely zoned out in the tablets.

Another cool element I had no idea about was that PBS Kids also has home based curriculum that kids can do to accompany what they learn in an episode. The activities can be found through their lab on their grown-ups site: http://grownups.pbskids.org/.  I know that my kid learns better when he's doing it hands on, so that fact that the lessons in each episode can be reinforced with activities that we can do together is awesome.

Ultimately, I don't need a researcher to tell me that too much technology is bad for my child. I can definitely see for myself when he has been exposed to too much on any given day (or week): his attitude changes, he is more difficult to communicate with, his patience is very limited, etc. I have resorted to "technology cleanses" for up to two weeks at a time when I feel like it's something that will benefit him and our relationship. Now that I have learned about the PBS for grown-ups site, at least I have a go-to for activities I can have him do that will not only be fun, but educational as well. Since the event he has gotten really excited about Astrology and Science, so I do let him enjoy the "Ready Jet Go!" app as part of his daily hour and he's even teaching me some things too! And since we cut the cord with cable TV, it's awesome to know that he can stream any PBS show at anytime on pbssocal.org/kids or through their video app.

New Year's Resolutions From Another Perspective

Every time New Year's comes around, my Facebook news feed is flooded with resolutions about everything under the sun.  Some people write about how they plan to better document time with their families.  I understand that documenting your little ones can get overwhelming, but it is extremely important to do so. I cannot stress that enough.  I started thinking about what I may do differently the next time around, but then wondered, what if there isn't a "next time around?" What if my little guy is the only addition we're going to have? What would I have done differently had I known from the get go that this was going to be the only time I would experience all of this?

I definitely would have documented my pregnancy more, that's for sure.  I saw pregnancy journals online and in bookstores and wondered at the time why I would want or need to track the changes I was going through, the cravings I was having, and the emotional roller coaster I was on.  If I am lucky enough to go through this again, I don't even think I would have the time to do this with chasing my little guy around. Your first pregnancy really is the best time to focus on yourself and what your body is going through.  I definitely didn't appreciate that I could nap if I needed to. It was such a surreal experience to grow a human for what seemed like nine interminable months, but now it all seems like such a distant memory that went by so quickly.  If I never get to go through it again, I am definitely saddened that I can't recall so many of the details that were such a huge part of those awe inspiring nine months.

Additionally, having had the opportunity to create prenatal chapters for some clients' video baby books, it has made me realize that wish I had captured my husbands reaction when I told him we were expecting.  I wish I could have captured other family and friends on camera when we shared the news.  I also wish we had done a creative gender reveal video. If there is a next time, I will have to make something unforgettable, and it will be, because it will be captured on film.  If I don't get to have my "next time," I hope my video baby book business helps others not have this same regret.

If I knew I wasn't going to have another child, I would have hired a birth photographer and videographer. Labor was so intense, but also so amazing, beautiful, and inspiring, that I really wish I had better documentation of the day.  I definitely also wish I had written out my birth story in more detail closer to the day I had given birth.  Waiting until a month afterwards I think some of the details got fuzzy.  Having had the opportunity to interview brand new moms and document their birth stories for them makes me realize just how much I have already forgotten.  As much as I wanted my husband to turn off his helmet cam because I thought I'd never want to see myself going through that experience, I am so glad I have at least that to remember the most beautiful day of my entire life. 

If I knew my munchkin was going to be the only squishy baby that I would ever have, I would have done a professional newborn shoot.  I love seeing everyone's adorable shots with props and wardrobe, but now that I have had the opportunity to be behind-the-scenes of some of these shoots, I cannot get over how undeniably precious those photographs are. Knowing that the best newborn photo shoots take place within ten days of birth, that newborn "look" is gone in an second when most don't even realize they've missed it.

If I knew that my little guy would be the only newborn I would get to experience, I definitely would have tried harder to enjoy the newborn stage. I know it's really hard for new parents to find joy in the sleepless nights and zombie-like days filled with worry, doubt, fear and confusion. But watching a new life learn about the world on the outside from such an innocent and unaltered perspective is truly inspiring. I remember an extra speedy grocery shopping trip with him in the early weeks and someone commented to me that she missed the "newborn cry." At that moment I thought she was crazy. That cry was making me crazy at the time. But now I understand, and I miss it too.

So in 2015 my resolution is to unplug more, appreciate each little milestone my son accomplishes, take the time to mourn the passing of previous stages, and document everything as much as possible for myself and for him.  This very well may be my only opportunity to capture a two year old and all his silliness and mispronunciations, and I'm not going to miss it.

A Dedication to My Little Guy--Who Won't Remember Our First Three Years :(

After recently reading a scientific based article about how childhood memory fades (link on my Facebook page) I started thinking about all of the wonderful things that my son does right now that he will have absolutely no recollection of, fading even as soon as the next four years or so.  It made me realize that we owe it to our children to not only track all of their milestones, but also their personality and the things that they do so that, in the future, they'll have an even better understanding of what made them who they are.  Toddlers, despite having a bad rap (terrible two's, threenager) they do some pretty awesome things during these extremely developmentally dense years.

So this blog post is dedicated to my little guy and the top 10 adorable awesome things that he does that I don't want to forget, but more importantly, I want him to know about. Of course am working on getting video footage of all of them, and you should too! Photos could never do these things justice. (Of course there are more than 10 adorable things, but these are my absolute favorites)

1. I want to always remember how my son shows excitement through his entire body.  When he is happy about something, he screams with such joy and echoes that feeling stomping both his feet very quickly. There is no second guessing that he is thrilled about what just happened or is about to occur.

2. When my son gives hugs he started saying "baby baby," so now that is the term we use for requesting them, ie "Can I have a baby baby?" He will then wrap his arms around our neck and say "baby baby" in the most adorable voice. I will be very sad when he no longer does this.

3. When my son doesn't like what someone else is doing, whether he knows them or not, he will tell them "no no" while shaking his forefinger.  He will do this to our dog, our cat, and other animals out in the world, as well as other children and adults. I am not quite sure why he doesn't like what they are doing sometimes, as it isn't always affecting him, but perhaps he just likes to maintain some sense of control of the situation.

4. When my little guy says a new word for the first time he will out of the blue repeat something that we've said, and it's absolutely no big deal to him. However, when we ask him to repeat the word after that, he usually won't.  Similarly, I love the way my son says certain words. Anyone outside our immediate family would have no idea what he is saying, but we understand his dialect and its ever changing nature certainly keeps us on our toes.

5. My son loves to run around holding up his diaper on either side. I have absolutely no idea how this started, but he gets a kick out of it, as so do we, quite possibly why he keeps doing it.  He'll also sometimes squat a little and make it more of a "duck walk."  He loves to do this while chasing me playing "Hide & Seek." For some reason he loves having me hide and startle him when he comes around looking for me.

6. I love how my son loves to sing while playing any musical instrument.  He yells "la la la" loudly while he plays his xylophone, tub piano, or anything else he can get his hands on.

7. The way my son will "cheese" for the camera is so adorable. If I ever want to get a photo of him smiling, the last thing I can say is "smile" because he will lift his head up, squint his eyes, and throw on the biggest, silliest grin you could ever imagine.

8. I think the way my son eats, both with his hands and with utensils, is so cute, especially when it's a food he loves. It's difficult to get this one on camera because as soon as I bring it out to film, he notices and poses.

9. The way my son absolutely loves our cat, even though she would prefer to have nothing to do with him, is so charming. He started signing "cat" not all that long ago, but more recently says "meow" as he does the sign.  Sometimes he pinches a little part of his cheek and says meow quietly, while other times he'll pinch a big piece of his cheek and say "meow" very loudly.  He'll walk up to the sleeping cat and make kissing sounds throughout the day.

10. Sometimes my son just wants to snuggle up in our bed. He will lay down on the pillows and pull the blankets up over himself. He may not even be tired or want to rest, it's just comfortable for him.

What are some of the adorable things your little one does or did that you don't ever want to forget? Do your best to capture it on film.  You owe it to your little one. As much joy as these things bring you, it will bring them even more being able to watch it years from now.  A number 11 for me could be watching my son enjoy watching himself in the videos we've already taken of him. We ask him who is in the video and he points to himself and says "me."  We even have videos of him watching videos of himself. Equally as adorable.

Somewhat Unrelated, But Important Nonetheless for Mommies and Mommies-to-be

I spend so much time blogging and educating about the importance of documenting our little ones, what is important to document and why, and how to make the best digital photo and video scrapbooks so that our kids can know just how much we love them.  These things are very important and letting our kids know in more ways than one just how much they are loved will set a strong foundation of confidence throughout their lives.

But something I realized this past weekend while being pampered at the Mommy Blogger Pre-Reception for the Pregnancy Awareness Month kick-off event is that we really need to make sure to take time out for ourselves, and not just during nap time and after we put our little one's to bed.  I had planned to attend the event with my son, as he is almost always with me.  But his runny nose and cough made me think twice about being "that mom."  It turned out to be for the best, as I was able to take a step back for an afternoon and focus on me. 

As moms we give so much to our little ones: from the moment I found out I was pregnant I became  hyper conscious about everything I was putting into my body and well as on it, the environment I was inhabiting, and even the air I was breathing in order to give my son the best start in life. I extensively researched everything that I brought into our home for him.  My baby registry was chock full of organic and natural items.  I took numerous precautions to avoid being GBS positive so that my son wouldn't be exposed to antibiotics during birth, I took all sorts of herbs and homeopathic pellets near the end of my pregnancy to help with having an all-natural childbirth, because I believed it was best for him.  I endured a month of extremely painful nursing, consulted lactation consultants and researched everything I could get my hands on to become successful at breastfeeding because I believed it was best and am happy to be able to continue to do so through his second year of life.

But what I l realized this weekend while having a complimentary eyebrow waxing, a really informative make-up consultation (both courtesy of the all-natural evolue beauty store of Beverly Hills), and a wonderfully relaxing chair massage (courtesy of Berlin Wellness and Chiropractic), is that if I don't take the time to focus on me, at least a little here and there, I can't be the best mommy that I can be to my son, nor the best wife to my husband. I want to set a positive example for my child, teach him about treating himself with the respect and love he deserves so that others in turn will do so as well. As a stay-at-home mom/mompreneur I tend to forget about the importance of "me time" and consequently cannot be my best self as a mom and a wife. It's definitely true that our lives become more full as we become life partners and mothers, but we forget that we were a whole person before any of this happened and need to make sure to continue to take care of that whole person for everyone else's sake too. 

Give everything you have to your kids, they deserve it, but they also deserve a happy and healthy mommy who takes the time to put herself first..at least once in a blue moon.

What Kinds of Things Should be Included in Your First Year Video Baby Book?

Whether you choose to hire a professional for photo shoots or video shoots in the first year of your child's life, there are many things that you can capture on your own that your child will appreciate being able to look back on years down the road.  When people only did traditional baby books, the preformatted questions and spaces for specific photos made it easy to know what to include, but in non-traditional times and with such easy access to recording devices, creating your own video baby book will serve you and your child much better in the long run.

Start as soon as you can.  If you can capture on video your own reaction or your partner's reaction to finding out that you're expecting, that would be ideal.  Otherwise, any other family or friends reacting to the news would serve you as well. If you're sharing the good news over video conferencing, there are plenty of good screen capture programs or even setting up your own camera/cell phone to film you telling someone else will be a memory to cherish.

As I mentioned in my previous post to all the pregnant mommies, capture your ultrasounds on video.  If you're seeing a midwife and not doing regular ultrasounds, even capturing elements of your appointments, measuring your belly, listening to the heart beat, etc. will be something special to look back on. There are some great 3D ultrasound services that create videos for you as well.  But make sure you're capturing your reaction to the ultrasound, not just the ultrasound itself.

If you can, get some photos, video, or both of when you are in labor.  I really did not enjoy having my picture taken at that time, but looking back, I am so happy I have images from then because it really does become such a blur, time goes by in very strange ways when you're in labor.  I also did not feel particularly pleased that my husband wore a helmet cam during my son's birth.  But the fact that he ultimately helped guide my son into the world with his own hands and we have that from his POV on film will be cherished forever.

Definitely capture as many firsts as you can once you arrive home with your baby.  The first bath is something you'll want to remember. You probably will want someone else filming as it is a nerve wracking time washing such a tiny baby for the very first time. The first time members of your extended family visit and hold your little one, grab the camera and film their reactions. Prompt them to tell you their first thoughts holding your child for the first time. Along the same lines, if you have pets, document their first introduction to your family's newest addition.  Having my dog smell my son's hospital blanket before we actually brought my son home seemed to help with a more peaceful introduction. Other first include baby's first tummy time, first walk in the stroller, first time exploring new toys, your baby trying solid foods for the first time, etc.

Of course you'll want to capture the early milestones, like your baby holding his head up for the first time, rolling over, smiling, laughing, cooing, discovering hands, discovering feet, pushing herself up, scooting, crawling, and ultimately walking. But every day interactions will be the things that you will tend to forget as time marches on.  The days tend to go by very slowly, but the months fly by at the same time. Suddenly you'll have a one year old and you'll forget just how tiny your baby was only twelve short months prior.

Once you edit everything together you can include photos as well as audio clips documenting thoughts, emotions, and baby's sounds throughout the first year.  It really is such a special time that deserves immortalizing.

Dedicated To All the Pregnant Mommies Out There...

aka "I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now"

With recently finding out a couple people in my life are expecting, it got me thinking that I should do a post dedicated to that amazing time that sometimes doesn't feel all that amazing. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a post about telling you to "get sleep while you can" or "enjoy your down time" or even "you think you're busy now..."  It's more about taking the time to really track what's going on with you physically and emotionally because it is such an important part of the process of bringing a new life into this world.  You may want to go back to your notes during subsequent pregnancies to remind yourself when certain changes occurred or maybe how long your nausea lasted. Or you may have friends or family who get pregnant after you who will want to compare notes.  Either way, you'll want to keep track because in those LONG nine months, believe it or not, every week, sometimes every day, is different.

First and foremost: those dreaded weekly profile pictures.  You may not feel like you're showing much in the beginning, but it will be nice to be able to track the changes when looking back. Take profile photos in the same location every time and try to wear something similar.  If there is something in the frame that can give you perspective of your bump size, that would be ideal.  I unfortunately only had "selfies," and they were taken all over the place. I didn't even take them every week, despite my sister telling me I would regret it if I didn't.  In subsequent pregnancies you will show sooner, so it would be nice to be able to have a record to compare to. Your little one will enjoy getting see themselves growing inside your belly years down the road.

As soon as you feel ready, do some journal entries about your feelings.  I know that sometimes it's hard to get excited about a pregnancy early on, especially if you're like me and miscarried before.  But even without getting excited, you can take note of how you are feeling about what is going on inside your body. Even writing about being scared can be good. Acknowledging your fears and doubt will help you deal with those feelings better. Stress and anxiety are worse if kept bottled up inside.  As you get further along and do start to get excited about your child coming into the world, start writing notes to him or her. Let your child know how you felt about them even before you've met. It will be a wonderful gift to share years down the road.

Another kind of journal entries to do are the ones tracking your symptoms.  Some days I would have the strangest feelings and would immediately go to the internet to check whether it was normal or not. Of course there really is no "normal" in pregnancy, everyone is different and every pregnancy is different even for the same person.  But looking back, I do wish I tracked when those things happened.  I remember I went through a week or two where my belly button was so sore.  I don't know when that was, maybe the second trimester? Early on, again not sure when, I had such pain in my abs, it was like I did two hundred crunches, but yet I hadn't been to the gym in at least a month. If I do go through pregnancy again, I wish I had written down when those different changes had occurred.  In addition, track when you start feeling kicks, when you are able to feel and see kicks from the outside, when your little one gets the hiccups and how often. Believe it or not, those memories do start to fade pretty quickly once your baby arrives.

Whether you have regular ultrasounds or just get to hear the heartbeat every so often, get video footage of it.  If it's an ultrasound and you have someone at the appointment with you, film the ultrasound with one camera phone, and get your reaction to it with another camera phone. You can always synch and edit them together later. Footage of you hearing your little one's heartbeat for the first time is priceless and you don't want to miss it.

And finally, if you have the budget for it or find someone looking to build their portfolio and will give you a good deal, get maternity photos taken. Do some searching on the internet for some ideas of poses and locations you like so you can present them to your photographer.  I wasn't really feeling up to doing a photo shoot the day we did ours, but I am so glad that we got those shots.  There are a set of pictures that he took candidly when my son was kicking and our reactions are full of such joy.

I know that some days the morning sickness and lethargy seem unbearable and you feel like you could never go through this again, but let me tell you, although you don't forget the horrible feelings of pregnancy after you go through it, you do realize how totally worth it it is and you are so willing to deal with it again for the amazing reward you get for going through it.