Preschooler Milestones and a Game That Helps Reach Them - Building Character Through PLAY!

I had the pleasure of attending the SoCal Moms Wellness Event last weekend at the beautiful Marion Davies Guesthouse on Santa Monica Beach. I was excited to bring my son to this one because not only was it a smaller enclosed event, but I knew there would be activities to keep him busy, and one of his good friends was also attending. I always love learning about new products for babies, but getting to meet creators of products for big kids that don't involve technology tend to really peak my interest.

Although my son, and most five year olds, can be very sweet, they still have a tendency to see the world through self-centered eyes. As much as we try to model empathetic behavior for our kids, we don't always see the results of this as quickly as we would like. At this age kids can notice what emotions others are going through and put names on those emotions. But when it requires a child to put another person's needs first, they don't always follow through with an empathetic act demonstrating true understanding of wanting to help another through a difficult time.

Enter Meghan DeRoma, Cofounder of Wannaplé and creator of the board game Silly Street. She had a simple toy was on display where the kids had to figure out how to swing a ring on a string to catch on a distant hook. As simple as it was, it held their attention for a very long time, almost as long as the LeapPad! While my son played, determined to win like his older friend already had, I had the pleasure of talking to Meghan DeRoma.

Not only is the board itself a big puzzle (big win for my puzzle loving kid) but the images and graphics on it are very eye catching.  The game pieces are wood circles with cute animal faces and the cards you draw to play with do not disappoint visually either.  This award-winning game inspires creativity, encourages healthy competition, promotes strong communication and rewards all around silliness.  In addition, it also helps promote empathy and social skills through the activities they have to complete on the game cards.  After my son finally caught the ring on the hook, he was overjoyed to be able to take the game home.  In fact, he even got an opportunity to try out the game on the spot with Meghan while I visited other vendors at the event.

We brought the game to a friend's house and my son, who normally has to always go first, offered to let his friend go first. And when my son didn't win a round, he didn't get upset. The friendly competition throughout the game really has improved his ability to work with others in a more positive manner.  When his friend was having difficulty completing a task on her card, my son was encouraging and tried to help her, even though that meant it would help her get closer to winning.

Although being able to read isn't necessary in order to play the game, encouraging my son to read the cards he draws in order to complete each task has been great for his sight word recognition as well as building his confidence. I love that some of the cards require the player to create a story about a character pictured on the card. Silly Street creates a fun environment where my son gets to demonstrate his ability to invent a story with a definite beginning, middle and end, including exposition, conflict and resolution has made this storytelling mama extremely proud.

Overall, I highly recommend this game. As much as I love traditional board games from my childhood that help with counting, color and shape recognition, this game has a great balance of learning and fun. I am a huge advocate of play-based learning and this adorable board game fits in-line with those principles. After all, who doesn't love a friendly match of Rock Paper Scissors or a Thumb War now and then, especially after a visit from the tickle monster?  You can get your very own copy of Silly Street online at Target, Amazon, Toys R Us or Barnes and Noble this holiday season!

To Technologoy or Not To Technology, That is the Question...

I'm sure many parents struggle with this in the technological age we are living in, and even more so if you're a work at home parent of a stay at home only child that no longer naps. This is my current dilemma and the fact that I am somewhat addicted to technology and the work I do involves technology probably doesn't help either.

It was so much easier for our parents when we were kids. Perhaps it was because I grew up on a street with other kids my own age, we played at each other's houses and only came home just in time for dinner. Of course I grew up in the suburbs in the Midwest on a dead end street with a park right across from my home. I can't say that where we live is really that much less "suburban," but it definitely doesn't have that same feel and with that comes less freedom for my child to explore and discover on his own. Some of that may be attributed to his age, but neighborhoods don't feel as "neighborly" as they once did.

So if I can't send him out on his own and if I can't be connected to the internet at the local park, what's a work at home parent to do? While I'm writing this he's actually interrupting me repeatedly for help with an art project that I thought would keep him occupied long enough to get this post done...wrong! Trips to the Dollar Store for art supplies are a regular occurrence just to get him away from technology and keep him occupied (somewhat anyway). I recently read an article that kids should not be allowed any technology before they turn one (oops!) and after that they should only be allowed up to an hour a day (another oops!). Ultimately we are all doing the best that we can, but there is an alternative to mind numbing toy review and surprise egg videos if we parents need some uninterrupted work time......

I am very happy to say that since attending a PBS SoCalKids event that focused on programming curriculum and their Ready to Learn Initiative, I know that if I do choose to turn on the television, then PBS Kids shows are the way to go.  So much time, energy, and thought goes into make their shows that my son's brain is continuing to expand and he is actually learning life lessons and various subject curriculum while watching.  I had the pleasure of learning about "Ready Jet Go!" and the fact that there is an actual JPL Astrophysicist on staff that not only contributes to the show's curriculum, but she is making sure that the science represented is scientifically based.  I learned that the whole production process for an eleven minute episode takes nine months from outline to finished product! In order to create an entire season, they are working on multiple episodes at one time throughout the year.

While I was learning all of these cool things, my son was in the back of the room with other kids on tablets to keep quiet and occupied. But when I found that that he was actually exploring various PBS apps that taught him new things that he was so excited to share with me after the event ended, I was looking forward to downloading the same apps for his tablet when we got home. The most interesting moment, however, was when we were watching a clip from "Ready Jet Go" and all of the kids stopped what they were doing to watch the scene and listen to how it was made, showing that they were not completely zoned out in the tablets.

Another cool element I had no idea about was that PBS Kids also has home based curriculum that kids can do to accompany what they learn in an episode. The activities can be found through their lab on their grown-ups site: http://grownups.pbskids.org/.  I know that my kid learns better when he's doing it hands on, so that fact that the lessons in each episode can be reinforced with activities that we can do together is awesome.

Ultimately, I don't need a researcher to tell me that too much technology is bad for my child. I can definitely see for myself when he has been exposed to too much on any given day (or week): his attitude changes, he is more difficult to communicate with, his patience is very limited, etc. I have resorted to "technology cleanses" for up to two weeks at a time when I feel like it's something that will benefit him and our relationship. Now that I have learned about the PBS for grown-ups site, at least I have a go-to for activities I can have him do that will not only be fun, but educational as well. Since the event he has gotten really excited about Astrology and Science, so I do let him enjoy the "Ready Jet Go!" app as part of his daily hour and he's even teaching me some things too! And since we cut the cord with cable TV, it's awesome to know that he can stream any PBS show at anytime on pbssocal.org/kids or through their video app.

For all the "Stay-At-Home" Mompreneurs (or Dadpreneurs)

As I get ready to send my little guy off to preschool in the morning, I am beginning to reflect on what these last three years have been like as a stay-at-home mom who used to have a part-time job, then started a business, then started helping out with our new franchise, and then signed on as a consultant for a direct sales business.  It really has been difficult to juggle everything and not drop a few balls here and there.  Who am I kidding, I've dropped more than a few.  But we've made it out alive and I have to say that getting six hours of "free" time a week is going to feel like an amazing stay-cation...I may actually get some work done on one of my three businesses too!  I figured that through all of this, I can definitely provide some helpful advice to other parents out there just beginning the journey of stay-at-home entrepreneurship.

First of all, I want to mention that starting a business, whether it's signing on to an already existing direct sales company or becoming a franchisee, or mostly starting something from scratch that requires a great deal of consumer education for acquisition, it's going to take more time than you expect to see the dollar signs come in, no matter how great the business model is. The most important thing is to start as small as you can financially, especially if there are no other funds to fall back on. Babies and kids are always going to need more things than you think they do, and things like cloth diapers can easily become an obsession and get out of control.  But I digress..invest as little as possible to get the ball rolling out of the gate to test the market, your sales abilities, as well as find out if this is going to be something that you really want to do.

On that note, whatever business you are getting in to to either create an income for your family or supplement another income, you have to really love it.  You cannot just be in it to chase dollar signs.  This is going to be a business that you are going to take time away from your child to do. You will lose massive amounts sleep in order to get things done.  Nap times and bed time will sometimes be all you can look forward to in order to get to that project that's sitting on your desk (that also happens to be covered with stickers and temporary tattoos).  If getting to projects or responding to emails for your business starts to become something you dread, it's not the business for you.  Of course that sounds like a no-brainer. But there is a big difference between going to a job you greatly dislike day in and day out just to get a paycheck and finding as many mini moments as possible throughout the day in between cooking, cleaning, laundry and hopefully playtime to get five minutes of work done.  If you're not happy with what you're working on, you will put it off and it will not get done.  It's a lot easier to get distracted at home by an adorable little munchkin than it is in a cubicle when you're already there.

Along the same lines, know your limits and be realistic.  There really are only twenty-four hours in a day and you do need to sleep.  Don't set yourself up for failure by assuming you can complete forty hours of work while being a full-time parent at home.  You probably won't even be able to get twenty hours of work in.  And you cannot beat yourself up over the fact.  Find ways to work your business into your time with your child.  Try to get into a business that markets to parents in your similar life stage so that you can reach out at playdates and playgrounds, do work while you're not really working. If you're in direct sales, find some other moms who are as well and schedule a time for everyone to get together, each one brings a friend who isn't in direct sales, and allow each business owner some time to share while the kids get to play. Also understand that not every week is going to be the same, commitments to home and family will change and the first thing you may have to sacrifice is your "work" time.

Most importantly, remember why you are going out on your own to create income for yourself and your family as opposed to working a full-time job and paying someone else to raise your child.  Being a stay-at-home mom really is one of the hardest and sometimes feels like the most thankless job there is. There are no benefits, sick days, weekends or vacation time. And when you throw being a mompreneur into the mix, there is even less time for you. But understand that your child getting to see you day in and day out is priceless.  No one will ever love your child the way you will and no one can raise them to be who you want them to be, but you.  Once the money starts to come in and you have a bit of a cushion, don't be afraid to hire a sitter here and there to give you time for you, or hire a cleaning service to at least take that off of your plate.  Just don't lose site of the goal of spending as much time with your kids as you can while they're little. It really does go by way too fast.

For those interested to know a bit more of the specifics, I started Video Baby Books after my son was born when I realized that as a professional filmmaker I was sadly only capturing my son's milestones on my cell phone and I wasn't "in" any of the videos.  Knowing that I couldn't be the only one with this issue, I sought to create a business to help parents like myself that really wanted professional level documentaries of their families.  My husband and I opened a Menchie's Frozen Yogurt in Valencia, CA this past April and not having our family time has been difficult. I recently signed on to sell Neal's Yard Remedies (NYR Organics) a certified organic health and beauty line out of the UK. I seek to live as clean and pure as possible when it comes to what we use on our bodies and this company has so many amazing products that selling them turned out to be an obvious choice.  Feel free to check out my online store at: https://us.nyrorganic.com/shop/francinekozlovsky

Really Awkward Milestone Reached Reading Fairy Tales Before Bed

We reached a new milestone, yay! I get to read my little guy actual stories that have more words than pictures on a page. Story time is a chance to expand his horizons and vocabulary.  I thought timeless classics were the way to go. Of course our collection has some of my childhood favorites, The Giving Tree and Where the Wild Things Are. But I thought fairy tales would be a definite must, until I read them to my son.  How are these timeless classics, seriously??  I find myself having to improvise quite a bit, switching out words and elements of the story to make them more suitable for a child.  But regardless, the story lines still are pretty amoral.  One of the only ones with a moral that I like is The Boy Who Cried Wolf because I can talk to my son about the importance of telling the truth. Although I make sure that the wolf scared off all the sheep as opposed to massacring them.   Other than that one and maybe a couple of others, I can't really find many redeeming qualities about them.  What do you think?

Goldilocks and the Three Bears: This lovely story teaches children about trespassing (at least it's not breaking and entering I guess), eating food that they find, destroying someone else's personal property, and sleeping in strangers' beds.

Jack and the Beanstalk: Believing swindlers, lying, repeated theft, taking advantage of a stranger's kindness, and ultimately murder will lead to your very own "happily ever after!"

The Princess and the Pea: Labels are everything.

Puss in Boots: Lying, impersonating, trickery and ultimately murder will lead to success!

Rumplestiltskin: Children are great bargaining pieces and if you succeed at the impossible, you get to marry someone you just met.

Rapunzel: Theft is okay if it's for a pregnant woman, and again, children are great bargaining pieces.

The Hare and the Hedgehog: Trickery and lying is fine if the person your tricking or lying to has a big ego. 

The Twelve Dancing Princesses: Magical trickery is the only way to get ahead and daughters are to be given away as prizes without their consent.

The Little Mermaid: Just depressing on all fronts.

Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, The Frog Prince, The Ugly Duckling (and quite a few others) Looks are EVERYTHING!

Why are these timeless classics? What do you read to your little ones?

What About Those Moments that Cannot Be Captured on Film?

I recently read a lovely blog post from an empty nester's perspective on what should be documented past the usual first couple of years of milestones in a traditional baby book.  It got me thinking about what I already know I am going to miss as my little guy continues to grow.  And unfortunately, there are certain things that cannot be captured in a photo nor on video, so I realized that I am going to have to resort to a blog post in an attempt to try and capture feelings and emotions of those special times we share.

As my son is a full on toddler, the nursing relationship we now have is very different than when he used to nurse as a baby. It's no longer about nourishment, but provides us with a special quiet bonding time before and after sleep.  Whether it's reading a book before bed time, or when he's slowly waking up, these moments of just me and him are so very special for both of us. Sometimes I'll do something that will give him the giggles and I'll have to just keep doing it because I love that sound so much. We look each other in the eyes and just spend that time enjoying each others company without the rest of the day's distractions.

I am going to miss the time we spend playing silly games at home that have no rules or sometimes simply do not make any sense.  He likes to tell me "mommy go hide."  I'll quickly take off to one side of the house with him following close behind, laughing all the way.  We will do this over and over again because he finds it so entertaining.  I have tried to teach him the proper way to play hide-and-seek, but the concept of covering his eyes fully and not following me until he has counted to five still is beyond him.  The fact that he tells me exactly where to hide every time probably breaks all the rules of hide-and-seek as well. 

Even though watching the same movie over and over again can be somewhat redundant for an adult, I'll never get tired of seeing his smirk and the glint in his eyes when we both look at each other right before one of his favorite scenes is about to happen. If I happen to be in another room when it comes on, I definitely know what scene is happening based on his giggles and laughter.  He tells me "Xander find it funny," an expression he also uses for a certain book he likes me to read relentlessly.

Sometimes out of the blue he'll tell me "take my hand, mommy." Sometimes he'll ask while he is eating, or when he wants me to go with him to another room in the house, or sometimes it's to go down a big slide or climb up something at the park.  Holding that little hand in mine provides me comfort and joy, just as much as I know it does for him.  Along the same lines, he'll tell me "baby me, mommy," his terminology for when he wants me to carry him somewhere. Even though he is getting heavier and more difficult to carry, I'm sure he'll stop asking before I stop being able to do so.

I am definitely going to miss the surprise and pride I feel when my little toddler says a new word or phrase for the first time.  I'm sure there are going to be plenty of firsts throughout his life that will give me a similar feeling of pride, but there is something about hearing a word for the first time, probably miss pronounced, but said with such confidence and excitement.  I find myself having to repeat what he just said to let him know that I not only heard heard it, but want to encourage him to continue to expand his vocabulary on a daily basis.

Another thing that cannot be captured, that I know I will definitely miss, is the way my son wraps his arms around me and lays his head on my shoulder when I take his sleeping body out of the car.  There is such a sweet innocence and tenderness in his quiet, sleepy body that makes me want to hold him like that forever.  Even when I have been looking forward to nap time all morning in order to get some much needed chores done, I will try to hold onto that moment for as long as I can.

The "terrible-two's" really can be a trying time.  And as I've heard from others who have come before me, the wrath of a "three-nager" may leave me longing for a good 'ole two-year-old tantrum.  But there really are some wonderful moments right now that I wish to remember forever.  Hopefully the photos and videos I have captured, and journal entries I have made will at least document a fraction of the beauty that has been.  I have learned that looking forward to each new milestone is a surefire way to miss out on just how wonderful the "now" really is.

New Year's Resolutions From Another Perspective

Every time New Year's comes around, my Facebook news feed is flooded with resolutions about everything under the sun.  Some people write about how they plan to better document time with their families.  I understand that documenting your little ones can get overwhelming, but it is extremely important to do so. I cannot stress that enough.  I started thinking about what I may do differently the next time around, but then wondered, what if there isn't a "next time around?" What if my little guy is the only addition we're going to have? What would I have done differently had I known from the get go that this was going to be the only time I would experience all of this?

I definitely would have documented my pregnancy more, that's for sure.  I saw pregnancy journals online and in bookstores and wondered at the time why I would want or need to track the changes I was going through, the cravings I was having, and the emotional roller coaster I was on.  If I am lucky enough to go through this again, I don't even think I would have the time to do this with chasing my little guy around. Your first pregnancy really is the best time to focus on yourself and what your body is going through.  I definitely didn't appreciate that I could nap if I needed to. It was such a surreal experience to grow a human for what seemed like nine interminable months, but now it all seems like such a distant memory that went by so quickly.  If I never get to go through it again, I am definitely saddened that I can't recall so many of the details that were such a huge part of those awe inspiring nine months.

Additionally, having had the opportunity to create prenatal chapters for some clients' video baby books, it has made me realize that wish I had captured my husbands reaction when I told him we were expecting.  I wish I could have captured other family and friends on camera when we shared the news.  I also wish we had done a creative gender reveal video. If there is a next time, I will have to make something unforgettable, and it will be, because it will be captured on film.  If I don't get to have my "next time," I hope my video baby book business helps others not have this same regret.

If I knew I wasn't going to have another child, I would have hired a birth photographer and videographer. Labor was so intense, but also so amazing, beautiful, and inspiring, that I really wish I had better documentation of the day.  I definitely also wish I had written out my birth story in more detail closer to the day I had given birth.  Waiting until a month afterwards I think some of the details got fuzzy.  Having had the opportunity to interview brand new moms and document their birth stories for them makes me realize just how much I have already forgotten.  As much as I wanted my husband to turn off his helmet cam because I thought I'd never want to see myself going through that experience, I am so glad I have at least that to remember the most beautiful day of my entire life. 

If I knew my munchkin was going to be the only squishy baby that I would ever have, I would have done a professional newborn shoot.  I love seeing everyone's adorable shots with props and wardrobe, but now that I have had the opportunity to be behind-the-scenes of some of these shoots, I cannot get over how undeniably precious those photographs are. Knowing that the best newborn photo shoots take place within ten days of birth, that newborn "look" is gone in an second when most don't even realize they've missed it.

If I knew that my little guy would be the only newborn I would get to experience, I definitely would have tried harder to enjoy the newborn stage. I know it's really hard for new parents to find joy in the sleepless nights and zombie-like days filled with worry, doubt, fear and confusion. But watching a new life learn about the world on the outside from such an innocent and unaltered perspective is truly inspiring. I remember an extra speedy grocery shopping trip with him in the early weeks and someone commented to me that she missed the "newborn cry." At that moment I thought she was crazy. That cry was making me crazy at the time. But now I understand, and I miss it too.

So in 2015 my resolution is to unplug more, appreciate each little milestone my son accomplishes, take the time to mourn the passing of previous stages, and document everything as much as possible for myself and for him.  This very well may be my only opportunity to capture a two year old and all his silliness and mispronunciations, and I'm not going to miss it.

Being a Parent Can Be Scary, Don't Prepetuate the Fear in Others

I wanted to do a post on milestones, but from a different perspective, one of anticipation and how others affect your perception of what is to come.  As my son moves on into toddlerhood, I've noticed that parents that have BTDT (been there done that) tend to feel the need to give me advice on what is on the horizon, but most often in the most non-conducive fashion: PLAGUED WITH FEAR!

I think back to the time when I was pregnant when I was looking forward to my son's birth with the typical uneasiness of venturing into the unknown abyss.  I had done a lot of research on labor and birth and watched numerous videos online.  I was nervous, of course, but really excited about the day I would finally get to meet my little guy.  But for some reason, anyone I met who had already had children felt the need fill my brain with horror stories of labor and birth.  I heard about a catheter not working and then the eventual C-section cutting into the bladder, I heard about hours upon hours of ineffective labor that resulted in a C-section, I heard about the horrible pain I would feel because I was planning to be unmedicated, I heard about the tearing and everything else that would make any pregnant woman run for the hills, wishing she never got pregnant in the first place.  So much of having a positive birth experience is about mindset, so why would someone who already went through it cause another parent-to-be so much anxiety? Just stop.  If you've BTDT and you see a pregnant mom, wish her a fast and easy labor or just say "congratulations."

Right before I had my son, the next fear tactic that was thrown upon me was about all the sleep I would not be getting and that it was important to sleep now.  Well, anyone who as ever been pregnant should know that the last month or so that is obviously impossible. Comfortable sleep and an always full bladder make for very difficult full nights of sleep. Instead of telling the parents how hard it will be and what a struggle the transition is going to be, offer to bring by some food once baby arrives.  Offer to take baby for a walk in the stroller so that the parents can get some sleep.  Or even offer to pay for a cleaning service to clean their home, that way they can catch up on some of the sleep they were told to get before baby arrived.

Of course there are numerous other milestones that I looked forward to, read about and researched, that seemed like so much fun that were only dampened by another parent's horror story: "My baby rolled over unexpectedly and fell off the bed", "My child started crawling and got into everything, I can't take my eyes off her", "Once my child started walking, he took to running quite quickly and takes off all the time" etc.

I remember thinking that I couldn't wait for my son to talk because I was so interested in what he would have to say.  Now he doesn't stop talking, ever.  Other parents would always respond with, "careful what you wish for."  Well, even though sometimes it can cause frustration for both of us when either I can't example understand what he's asking me for or I can understand it and I'm not going to give it to him, there are so many more times when he will repeat something I say that is just so awesome to hear from his mouth.  Or he'll say something brand new that I don't even know where he picked it up and I'll have no choice but to smile.  When my little guy asks be to re-read the same book for the fourth time because "he finds it funny" what else kind I do but oblige?

Recently my son and I were at an indoor playground where my son was very nicely playing with an older boy.  The other child's mom asked how old my son was and when I told her he was two her response was "enjoy it, three is really hard." Now what if I was already having a really difficult time with the "terrible twos?" What if this Norman Rockwellesque interaction was the one time my son wasn't throwing a fit? How would I feel if I had only even worse days to look forward to? Please, parents, every child is different, even ones in the same household.  Let me learn about the trials and tribulations of a "threenager" all on my own. As I've told other parents, with each new milestone, it just gets better and better. Of course each developmental stage has it's challenges, but the developments that are causing those challenges also make for really fun times.  Enjoy every stage, both the good and the bad, because whether it is good or bad, it will be over before you know it and you will be mourning the previous stages when they're gone.

MORE STUFF! Do These Things REALLY Help Our Little Ones Reach Milestones?

As I was forced to be awake early this morning for two hours straight while trying to coax my little one to go back to sleep without nursing, I started racking my brain for what else we could buy to help our situation (in addition to the sound machine, the sleep sheep, the night light turtle, etc.) Then I realized that clearly humans have been "learning" to sleep for thousands of years without electronic device assistance (or training books, for that matter, I mean, who taught Ferber how to sleep?)  What other "THINGS" have we bought to "help" our little guy reach his milestones.  I know that some of these things were actually created to help out mom and dad, but honestly, I think baby registries have gotten way out of control.  Here are just a few of the things (some of which I admit I bought or tried) that probably really did not make a difference in our little guy's development. 

*Disclaimer: I am not in any way discrediting the work of occupational therapists that help babies that show signs of delay or lack developmental skills early on.  The tools that these professionals use truly help babies that would probably have much greater issues developing as they progress in life.

1. Headphones for the belly: I'm not really sure what milestone this is supposed to aid, but I too bought in to the idea that playing classical music for my fetus would benefit his developing brain.  But what music did Mozart's mom play for him in the womb? I doubt his mom had a recording of Bach.  Perhaps there really isn't much to this one after all.

2. The Playmat: Did babies really take that much longer to learn how to lift up their head when not forced to have tummy time on a colorful mat with toys? I highly doubt there were six month old babies with floppy heads even one hundred years ago. I remember reading that it's important to have a mirror on the floor when your baby is doing tummy time to encourage them to lift their head and strengthen their neck.  Once your little one realizes there are things going on around him, he's going to work on trying to see what those things are, with or without the colorful lights and sounds encouraging it.  They really don't need all those noisy toys to learn how to respond to sound, they are going to be interested in it and they will do it whether it plays a delightful tune or not.

3. The Bumbo seat: Did babies not figure out how to sit up before they were forced into this strange seat? Were seven month old babies rolling around on the ground without the desire to sit up and take in the world around him?  Most physical therapists hate them anyway.  Why did I give in and buy it? My son seemed like he really wanted to see what was going on around him before he was able to sit up.  I probably should have just worn him in a carrier instead during those fussy times.

4. Walkers: I know for many parents and professionals these mobile playpens have already been discredited as actually delaying a child's development, but that still doesn't stop many parents from purchasing them in the hopes that their child will become mobile sooner.  After having experienced an early walker, if I were to go through it all over again, I think I'd be happy with crawling for at least a few more months. (see previous blog post about pushing the first born to develop faster and hoping subsequent children stay babies longer)

5. Anything with lights and annoying sounds: There are so many lights and sounds that exist outside in the real world that your baby can be introduced to that these inventions probably do not make much of a difference, if at all.  The real world lights and sounds are probably better anyway because introducing your child to them requires live interaction between the two of you.  And it is proven that engaging your baby in conversation about the world around them from early on actually does help brain development.   Your child doesn't need a flashing light in front of them to encourage crawling, you at a distance will be reason enough to get on the move.  Honestly, what toys did Einstein play with before there was Baby Einstein to help him develop his genius? There wasn't even electricity when Da Vinci was alive, and he is credited as the most genius genius of all time.

6. Videos and Games: I know I learned to read pretty young without videos or apps, as did most people in my generation.  So what if My Baby (can't) Read. This way I am able to edit stories I'm reading as I see fit (my son doesn't know that the Evil Queen asked the Huntsman to kill Snow White, I prefer "get rid of.") William Shakespeare definitely wasn't doing any kind of pre-preschool videos to develop his language ability.

I hesitate to put electronic sleep devices on this list.  I can't honestly say that a sound machine absolutely helps my son sleep better or longer, but I do like the fact that it drowns out other noises around the house.  His sleep sheep also helps him not to hear me as I sneak away like a criminal in the night after he falls asleep.

I'm sure as my son grows up, there will be more "THINGS" to add to this list.  The next time I see some of the "latest and greatest" or take a gander at someone's baby registry and wish I had that for my little guy, I have to remind myself that babies did just find with homemade dolls, balls, and blocks for hundreds of years.

What kinds of things did you buy that you can now look back on as a space waster?

Mommy Milestones

There Are Some Things We Hit That Deserve a Celebration!

I spend a lot of time talking, educating, and thinking about all of the milestones to look for in our little ones from the moment we get to hold them in our arms.  But there are quite a few things that occur for us as moms that we should take the time to celebrate, whether it's our first child or subsequent birth.  If you have any things that you think should be added to this list, please feel free to comment below.

September '12-I was able to have the natural birth I had planned.  I was in labor for less than 24 hours, probably around 15 of which was pretty uncomfortable.  I said said some things during the painful moments that I don't really agree with now, like "Why does anyone do this more than once?!" But overall, I was happy with my decision and that I was able to do it.

September '12-I let someone hold my son without feeling extreme anxiety.

October '12-I finally figured out how to swaddle with a regular blanket.  Of course I would only resort to the regular blanket when the handy dandy velcro cheating swaddles were dirty.

October '12-I was able to leave my son with a family member while I went to do laundry.  This was the first time I had him out of my sight (besides while sleeping or showering).  If felt very odd and I hurried to get back to him.

October '12-I was able to nurse without pain. This was a HUGE milestone.  I had a lot of issues during the first month and forced myself to push through in order to exclusively nurse.  A couple of weeks in it started to hurt less, so I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

November '12-I was able to get myself and my son to leave the house and run an errand without having a ton of anxiety.

December '12-My husband and I went out on our first date since the birth of our son.  I learned a lot that night regarding engorgement and the necessity of taking my lovely pump out with me.

January '13-I went back to work and left my son at home. This was probably the hardest milestone to reach and be okay with. I cried all the way to work.

February '13-I was able to drive to work without feeling sad for leaving my son.

March '13-I was able to nurse my son in his nursery.  Now this may sound like an odd milestone if you don't know about our situation. But our home caught on fire while we were in the hospital having my son. We lived in four different places before we were able to have the homecoming I had wanted so many months before.

April '13-I was able to put my son down to a nap in his crib.  Up until this point I was only able to get him to sleep while wearing him in a carrier. Although it took quite a bit longer to get him to sleep a substantial amount of time in his crib, it was a good feeling to be able to do so.

May '13-We got our bed back! Well, this wasn't so much of a celebration, to be honest. I actually enjoyed co-sleeping and I slept better than I was going to for many, many months to come.  We did not attempt any sleep training until a few months later so I was regretting hitting this milestone for quite a bit of time.

September '13-I planned an awesome first birthday party for my little guy.  I was very proud of how it turned out and I hope he appreciates the multitude hours of effort I put in.

February '14-I finally found a brand of cloth diapers that work for both me and my son. I was finally able to cloth diaper like I had planned almost two years prior.

April '14-I slept through the night!! My son had done it a couple of times before this night, but I finally slept a decent amount without getting up to tend to him nor my bladder.

As I remember some others, I will update this post and share.  I'd love to hear what milestones you've hit and feel proud of!

What Kinds of Things Should be Included in Your First Year Video Baby Book?

Whether you choose to hire a professional for photo shoots or video shoots in the first year of your child's life, there are many things that you can capture on your own that your child will appreciate being able to look back on years down the road.  When people only did traditional baby books, the preformatted questions and spaces for specific photos made it easy to know what to include, but in non-traditional times and with such easy access to recording devices, creating your own video baby book will serve you and your child much better in the long run.

Start as soon as you can.  If you can capture on video your own reaction or your partner's reaction to finding out that you're expecting, that would be ideal.  Otherwise, any other family or friends reacting to the news would serve you as well. If you're sharing the good news over video conferencing, there are plenty of good screen capture programs or even setting up your own camera/cell phone to film you telling someone else will be a memory to cherish.

As I mentioned in my previous post to all the pregnant mommies, capture your ultrasounds on video.  If you're seeing a midwife and not doing regular ultrasounds, even capturing elements of your appointments, measuring your belly, listening to the heart beat, etc. will be something special to look back on. There are some great 3D ultrasound services that create videos for you as well.  But make sure you're capturing your reaction to the ultrasound, not just the ultrasound itself.

If you can, get some photos, video, or both of when you are in labor.  I really did not enjoy having my picture taken at that time, but looking back, I am so happy I have images from then because it really does become such a blur, time goes by in very strange ways when you're in labor.  I also did not feel particularly pleased that my husband wore a helmet cam during my son's birth.  But the fact that he ultimately helped guide my son into the world with his own hands and we have that from his POV on film will be cherished forever.

Definitely capture as many firsts as you can once you arrive home with your baby.  The first bath is something you'll want to remember. You probably will want someone else filming as it is a nerve wracking time washing such a tiny baby for the very first time. The first time members of your extended family visit and hold your little one, grab the camera and film their reactions. Prompt them to tell you their first thoughts holding your child for the first time. Along the same lines, if you have pets, document their first introduction to your family's newest addition.  Having my dog smell my son's hospital blanket before we actually brought my son home seemed to help with a more peaceful introduction. Other first include baby's first tummy time, first walk in the stroller, first time exploring new toys, your baby trying solid foods for the first time, etc.

Of course you'll want to capture the early milestones, like your baby holding his head up for the first time, rolling over, smiling, laughing, cooing, discovering hands, discovering feet, pushing herself up, scooting, crawling, and ultimately walking. But every day interactions will be the things that you will tend to forget as time marches on.  The days tend to go by very slowly, but the months fly by at the same time. Suddenly you'll have a one year old and you'll forget just how tiny your baby was only twelve short months prior.

Once you edit everything together you can include photos as well as audio clips documenting thoughts, emotions, and baby's sounds throughout the first year.  It really is such a special time that deserves immortalizing.

Dedicated To All the Pregnant Mommies Out There...

aka "I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now"

With recently finding out a couple people in my life are expecting, it got me thinking that I should do a post dedicated to that amazing time that sometimes doesn't feel all that amazing. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a post about telling you to "get sleep while you can" or "enjoy your down time" or even "you think you're busy now..."  It's more about taking the time to really track what's going on with you physically and emotionally because it is such an important part of the process of bringing a new life into this world.  You may want to go back to your notes during subsequent pregnancies to remind yourself when certain changes occurred or maybe how long your nausea lasted. Or you may have friends or family who get pregnant after you who will want to compare notes.  Either way, you'll want to keep track because in those LONG nine months, believe it or not, every week, sometimes every day, is different.

First and foremost: those dreaded weekly profile pictures.  You may not feel like you're showing much in the beginning, but it will be nice to be able to track the changes when looking back. Take profile photos in the same location every time and try to wear something similar.  If there is something in the frame that can give you perspective of your bump size, that would be ideal.  I unfortunately only had "selfies," and they were taken all over the place. I didn't even take them every week, despite my sister telling me I would regret it if I didn't.  In subsequent pregnancies you will show sooner, so it would be nice to be able to have a record to compare to. Your little one will enjoy getting see themselves growing inside your belly years down the road.

As soon as you feel ready, do some journal entries about your feelings.  I know that sometimes it's hard to get excited about a pregnancy early on, especially if you're like me and miscarried before.  But even without getting excited, you can take note of how you are feeling about what is going on inside your body. Even writing about being scared can be good. Acknowledging your fears and doubt will help you deal with those feelings better. Stress and anxiety are worse if kept bottled up inside.  As you get further along and do start to get excited about your child coming into the world, start writing notes to him or her. Let your child know how you felt about them even before you've met. It will be a wonderful gift to share years down the road.

Another kind of journal entries to do are the ones tracking your symptoms.  Some days I would have the strangest feelings and would immediately go to the internet to check whether it was normal or not. Of course there really is no "normal" in pregnancy, everyone is different and every pregnancy is different even for the same person.  But looking back, I do wish I tracked when those things happened.  I remember I went through a week or two where my belly button was so sore.  I don't know when that was, maybe the second trimester? Early on, again not sure when, I had such pain in my abs, it was like I did two hundred crunches, but yet I hadn't been to the gym in at least a month. If I do go through pregnancy again, I wish I had written down when those different changes had occurred.  In addition, track when you start feeling kicks, when you are able to feel and see kicks from the outside, when your little one gets the hiccups and how often. Believe it or not, those memories do start to fade pretty quickly once your baby arrives.

Whether you have regular ultrasounds or just get to hear the heartbeat every so often, get video footage of it.  If it's an ultrasound and you have someone at the appointment with you, film the ultrasound with one camera phone, and get your reaction to it with another camera phone. You can always synch and edit them together later. Footage of you hearing your little one's heartbeat for the first time is priceless and you don't want to miss it.

And finally, if you have the budget for it or find someone looking to build their portfolio and will give you a good deal, get maternity photos taken. Do some searching on the internet for some ideas of poses and locations you like so you can present them to your photographer.  I wasn't really feeling up to doing a photo shoot the day we did ours, but I am so glad that we got those shots.  There are a set of pictures that he took candidly when my son was kicking and our reactions are full of such joy.

I know that some days the morning sickness and lethargy seem unbearable and you feel like you could never go through this again, but let me tell you, although you don't forget the horrible feelings of pregnancy after you go through it, you do realize how totally worth it it is and you are so willing to deal with it again for the amazing reward you get for going through it.

Time Capsule Events

I started doing Time Capsule Events in my local area as an opportunity to educate mommies and mommies-to-be on the importance of documenting their little ones from the womb and beyond.  I am extremely passionate about this topic, as I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with the ramifications of my house catching on fire while I was in the hospital having my son.  I was all out of sorts having to spend my first night out of the hospital in a hotel, and that was in addition to the typical stress of being a new parent.  I was uprooted from my home for a total of five months, and lived in a construction zone for the following three.

As a professional filmmaker, I am pretty devastated that I was unable to capture any of my son's early moments with my professional gear, but what is even more disappointing is that I didn't do more with the tools I did have at my disposal throughout our various temporary housing situations.  And it's because of these reasons I like to help parents feel more confident in capturing their little ones as well as give them a small gift for attending my event, hoping to inspire them to continue to do even more on their own.

During our time together at the event, I spend the first part discussing why it's so important to capture milestones and which milestones are important to capture. I talk about the benefits of having my own baby book as a reference to use with my son and his development.  In addition, I talk about how my son will benefit in the future from the documenting I am currently doing.  I spend the next part of our time discussing tips and tricks for filming and documenting their little ones. I talk about many of the things discussed in my earlier blog posts, as well as help them with issues they may currently have with the tools that they are using.

The final part of the event consists of my attendees writing a letter to their children for a special event in the future. I then film the attendees reading this letter to their child and get some great shots of them interacting with their baby.  I also get some footage of the letter itself in order to capture the emotion that can only be expressed in one's handwriting.  Within the week following the event, I edit it together with some photos that they provide me to create a mini time capsule.

If you currently are in the Los Angeles area and are interested in attending one of my events or hosting one, please contact me.  If you are not local, you can check out my next blog post on how you can host your own time capsule event in your town.

Looking forward is great, but slow down, there will be a last time for everything

Last night I had the pleasure of giving a Time Capsule Event for a lovely group of mommies. During my educational presentation while I was talking about milestones and looking forward to the next ones our babies will accomplish, I started to think about the converse...things he's doing now won't last forever, there will be a last time for everything.  Although slightly off topic from my usual posts, I thought I'd share some of these things with you in the hopes that you'll cherish each and everything just a little bit more.

Of course I'm looking forward to when my son can put himself to sleep and finally sleep through the night, but that means he'll no longer need me to nurse him back to sleep. There already was a last time we co-slept in his swaddle. Soon there will be a last time he latches on and falls asleep on me.

I am looking forward to when my son can bathe himself. But that means I'll no longer get to watch him experience the simple joy in playing the water after his bath has finished.  There already was a last time he bathed in the little bathtub sitting over the sink. Soon there will be a last time he sticks his head under the running water and giggles at how it feels.

It will be nice when my son will be able to feed himself, but that means we'll no longer be able to make him do "tricks" for food. Right now he makes the cutest impression of a monkey when he wants to eat his baked peas from Trader Joe's.  He already doesn't need me to make all of his food pureed, but pretty soon there will be a last time when he will no use his chubby little finger to point to the different things he wants to eat off of my plate.

It sure will be less worrisome when my son stops tripping and falling almost every time he gets excited and runs, but that means he'll no longer need me to pick him back up again and kiss his boo-boos. He already walks ahead of me at the park and goes to the different equipment he wants to play on.  Pretty soon he won't look for my hand to grab to help him go up steps, and there will be a last time when he will want to sit on my lap to go down the big kid slide.

There will be a last time when he will allow me to kiss him in public, there will be a last time when he signs "Momma" or "Dadda" with such a sparkle in his eyes, there will come a time when he will no longer think of my husband and I as his entire universe. I know that we gave him life so that he will have a life. But I really want to look at all of the things he's doing right now, both difficult and wonderful, and cherish them just a little bit more, because there will be a last time for everything.

Take the time to capture everything.  For more ideas go to videobabybooks.com or check out previous posts in my blog.

Capturing Important Moments Past the First Year

If you take a look at any Baby Book that is supposed to help you to document the first three to five years of life, you'll notice that the majority of the book is dedicated to the first year, about three quarters in fact.  Of course there is quite a bit of space dedicated to thoughts about baby before the arrival, and the birth story is pretty significant, but from that perspective, it's easy to assume that the milestones in the first year are actually the most important: smiling, laughing, rolling over, sitting up, waving, standing, and possibly walking.  However, our children actually change significantly in the first couple of years and it is just as important to track that progress as well, not just for you to reminisce, but for your pediatrician to track progress, and for your children to look back on in the future.

My earliest memories are probably from around the time I was four or five.  At this point, I'm not really sure if they are actual memories, or if my head is just filling in blanks between the stories I have been told about that time.  Regardless, anything between birth and three years old just does not exist for me, except in faded pictures in dusty albums.  But my second and third years of life were a very special time: I got better with walking, I learned to run and climb, I got a mouth full of teeth, I learned to talk, I further developed my personality, I learned to process thoughts and express my emotions, I made friends, I gained independence, and overall became a very big communicator.

Just because the milestones during this time are not as obvious on the surface, they are just as important when it comes to remembering your little toddler who all too soon will be attending kindergarten.  They are also important for your pediatrician to track your toddler's progress.  Most of the milestones are more mental than physical, although getting better with fine motor skills is part of the growing process after the first year.  You should still track basic physical growth, ie height, weight, and head circumference, but more importantly, you need to pay attention to the more subtle changes your little one is going through. Keep in mind that these milestones come at less specific times, there are ranges of a few months that dictate when certain developments should occur by.

So how does one go about capturing these important and less than obvious milestones? Be ready to capture seemingly mundane moments at any time. Most of use are attached to our cell phones anyway, take advantage of it.  When you notice your little one focusing on something very intently that they seemed to overlook just yesterday, discretely grab your phone and film.  But make sure you film them from their perspective--that means getting down on their level physically. When your little guy or girl starts to get fussy because he or she wants to do something themselves that they once needed your help for, try to capture it on film. In the early stages of communicating, you'll notice that random sounds start to come together like a conversation, even though the sounds do not make any sense. Continue this conversation with your little one as your start to film.  Your toddler will start to follow simple directions and these "tricks" will be wonderful memories when caught on film.  Another important milestone to capture at this time is your little one interacting with other toddlers or kids. These precious moments truly will be priceless.  And just as important, when you and your child are having a special moment that just melts your heart, get it on film. Try to make sure you include your voice in the interaction and if you can include yourself visually, all the better.

Overall, don't be too concerned about capturing the milestones the very first time that they happen. The second, third, or fourth time will probably look and sound just the same. The very best way to keep track of changes is to make it a point to jot down notes somewhere (I prefer my notes app on my phone) of what your toddler is up to every month on their birth date.  That way, before you start to write, you can remind yourself of the new developments the previous month and know just what is new the current month.  I try to divide my observations into physical changes and developments, eating habits, communication developments, sleeping habits, and just cute events I will want him to know happened during that past month.  Once you've reminded yourself of that months developments, you can make it a point to film some or all of them the next time your see your little guy or girl showcase that new skill or part of his or her personality.

Most parents like to make it a point to get photos of their child every year on their birthday. I recommend capturing video of your child at least once a month and do your best to alternate who takes the video so the same person isn't always behind the camera.  Or hire a family videographer to help out. For more ideas and examples, you can go to my website at: www.videobabybooks.com